Hey-hey, my peeps! How’s everybody doing? Summer is winding down, but my dating life is still going full steam ahead. You remember those two guys I dated in one day a couple Saturdays ago? Yeah, so they’re now both out of the picture. *whistles innocently* But that left room for a new bachelor to move in, a fella by the name of Matthew.
He and I met on OKCupid and chatted with each other for a while. In his bio, he mentioned that he enjoyed singing in the shower, frisbee, rhythmic gymnastics, and hugging.
This is what I pictured:
MFEO, yo. We set a date for last night at The Ministry of Coffee and Social Affairs. I got there first and waited for him on a wooden bench outside the shop. A woman came along with an adorable dog she left in my temporary custody (okay, she tied him to a lamppost, but I adopted him) while she went inside to grab a quick coffee. I was smooching all over the pooch when Matt happened by. I introduced him to my pretend dog, Banjo (yes, I named him, too). Matt 100% thought the dog was mine until I explained the sitch.
We hugged hello and entered the supremely cool coffee shop. You guys, they had Nutella hot chocolate on their menu! Enough said. Matt paid for our beverages and we grabbed a seat and dove right into first-date conversation topics, such as: why we both hated high school, why online dating sucks, and why trees are awesome.
It was about 8:30 when I mentioned to Matt that I’d been invited later that night to the Conroy Pub for some karaoke AC-TION with some of my Adult High School peeps. I told him he was more than welcome to join in and put that shower singing to good use. To be honest, I was expecting a definitive HELL TO THE NO. See, I’ve found that guys, even the ones who publicly admit to singing, tend to shy away from performing on a stage on the first date. Funny, I’ve never had that problem. But good old Matty-boy, he was ALL for it! He said he needed to stop in and see a buddy of his who was having a rough go of things, but he’d head to the pub right after.
He hugged me and gave me a little peck on the cheek, then we parted ways. And when I backed out of my parking spot in the private lot next to the coffee shop (that was very poorly lit, I might add)…I hit a pole that decided to spontaneously grow in the middle of the lot.
I swear, the thing came out of nowhere. I’m the girl who never gets in car accidents with actual cars. I just hit inanimate objects instead. I’m totally fine, thankfully, but my car–my dear, sweet Bubba Gump, who’s exactly a year old–is gonna need some cosmetic surgery. 🙁
Naturally, I was shaken up from the ordeal, and I called my dad and begged him to tell me it would be an easy/cheap fix, even if he was lying. He said I should cancel on the karaoke because I was all stressed out, but that’s the very reason why I didn’t. Nothing can improve my mood faster than singing, particularly when there’s a whole crowd of strangers watching me. I’m weird, I know. So off I drove to the Conroy Pub.
Karaoke starts at 10 PM, and I arrived at 9:58 like a boss…to a virtually empty bar. But who should I make eye contact with first? None other than the karaoke host! I, um, might have dated him once. Yeah, for Halloween last year, I came to the pub dressed as Miley Cyrus in her The Voice ensemble:
The host, Adam, took an instant shine to me (I think it was the blonde braids), and he even rewarded me with best costume of the night. We went out on one date, and I realized the only thing I really liked about him was his karaoke CD collection, and that’s not quite enough to build a relationship on. Almost, but not quite. I haven’t been back to the Conroy Pub since that failed date.
Fast forward to last night. Adam recognized me right away. We hugged hello, and I struck up a conversation with him and some friends of his. Yes, theoretically karaoke starts at 10, but no one ever shows up right at 10, unless they’re me. It takes a good half hour or more before you get a decent-sized crowd. That being said, no one else in my party had arrived yet so I joined Adam and his buddies at their table.
Shortly after, my actual date, Matt, arrived. I jumped up and directed him to another table, hoping to avoid any awkwardness. I eventually confessed how I knew the karaoke host. I kind of hoped that having pull with the host would come in handy and he’d slip my song choices to the front of the pile. Not so much.
Slowly but surely, the rest of my friends arrived and I introduced them all to Matt. They loved the fact that we’d only just met and were diving right into karaoke together. Not only that, but we signed up to sing a duet together–A Whole New World. I, of course, sang some of my go-tos–Black Horse & the Cherry Tree, Fernando, Play That Funky Music–and I inserted myself into a few performances, as one does.
Matt ambitiously attempted a Bruce Springsteen song on his first go. Born to Run. There were…moments of brilliance. Very brief moments. Our duet went off the rails early on when he realized he didn’t totally know the song, but the crowd enjoyed his dramatic intonations and my unrestrained vibratos.
Other highlights of the night: when a 60+ year-old intoxicated woman came on to me after I danced with her to These Boots are Made for Walkin’; when our entire group got up to sing Hooked on a Feeling, complete with the “ooga-chakas”; when a former student of mine in attendance recognized me, hugged me, and spent the rest of the night putting the moves on my former fling, Mr. Karaoke Host (it’s okay, she’s of age); and, last but not least, when Matt kissed me in the parking lot post-karaoke. Like, five times.
I made sure to check for random poles before I backed out. And Polish people. They can pop up unexpectedly sometimes, too. Now I feel like pierogies.
Mmmm. You’re welcome.
Aaaaaand that concludes another UpDATE! Hope you enjoyed! Stay tuned for more tales from my always-dramatic love life. Ta-ta for now! xo